Your diet will fail. You will never run a marathon. You will not be a millionaire in five years. Goal setting is mostly ludicrous, dispiriting and immiserates us.
Greggs can be our unlikely saviour. Their vegan sausage roll is our pastry encased saviour in a world of sugar and fat. The perfect metaphor for something achievable in the calorie fest that is the Greggs breakfast queue.
Setting yourself up to fail is destructive to your soul. You fail to achieve then beat yourself up. Like the route to the Pringles in the pantry, it is a well-worn path.
I am telling you not to do that. Instead I want you to choose life. Choose exercise. Choose a Greggs vegan sausage roll.
Pick something you know you can do easily and you will enjoy doing. Commit to doing 15 minutes exercise every day, learn to make a vegetarian curry (put potato and peas curry into google), open an account and put a small amount of money away every week.
If you are unwilling to countenance such simple, enjoyable, personally rewarding changes in your life go open another tube of Pringles and put on daytime TV.
Or find an old pair of leggings, comfy shoes and go for that brisk walk. If you are less than perfect cut yourself some slack, be nice to yourself. But give good advice to you, treat you like you like yourself and want only what is good for you. Cajole, influence, motivate and talk yourself into getting back on track. Remember you like doing this and it is not difficult.
This does not mean you can’t aim to lose 15 kilos, run the New York marathon or have that dream home. Knock yourself out with long term goals, but knocking yourself out is often exactly what happens.
No one ever got up in the morning for an achievable goal is one of my favourite phrases when working with high performers, but many of us are not high performers every day, or any day, so hide under the duvet and stay there instead of going out and making a start.
Make a start. Do it today. Once the HP sauce is on it you won’t know the difference. Don’t buy the Chelsea bun, have a wee biscuit instead. Now you are 250 calories ahead and it’s only 8.30am. Go for a brisk 30 minute walk at lunchtime, push yourself, there’s another 250. Take in a packed lunch rather than buy a sandwich, that’s twenty quid saved in a week.
Five hundred calories a day more out than in is a pound in weight off your ever leaner body. If you save 250 calories a day in Greggs, start on that daily exercise and stick a few quid away every week I personally guarantee you will be lighter, fitter and richer.
Now that’s goal setting you can celebrate. Who’s buying the cakes?