At first glance, it could be a cry for help—or just another post on a crowded message board.
“I am 22 and unemployed,” a young man writes on the website Quora. “I am wasting [my] entire day watching porn and browsing Facebook. What should I do in my free time which is more productive?”
The suggestions from strangers range from the practical—join the army, learn to code—to the sarcastic. “I heard there’s stuff to do outside,” one user replies. “Supposedly there are people and places you can interact with.”
It’s a post that speaks to a broader malaise: a generation of young men increasingly lost in a digital fog of easy dopamine hits, retreating from work and real-world responsibilities into online distraction.
Britain is grappling with a deepening youth worklessness crisis. More than 900,000 16 to 24-year-olds are now not in education, employment or training (Neets)—the highest level in a decade. And the gender split is striking: nearly half a million are men.
Among male Neets, economic inactivity—those neither working nor looking for work—has surged 48% since before the pandemic. For young women, the equivalent figure is under 10%.
Many experts believe the trend is being fuelled by a potent mix of digital distraction, mental health challenges, and economic stagnation. But it’s the role of online pornography and video games—readily available and relentlessly engaging—that has drawn particular concern.
“This is a synthetic replacement for real-life interactions,” says one senior secondary school teacher, who asked not to be named. “We see students as young as year seven who believe online forums are more meaningful than real-world relationships. That mindset makes work, education—even friendship—seem less appealing.”
The National Centre for Gaming Disorder reports that 90% of its patients are male. Meanwhile, the Centre for Social Justice found that 25% of men aged 18-29 watch porn daily or most days, compared to just 2% of women.
Addiction to these digital habits can leave young men trapped in an isolating loop, withdrawing from life offline. One Reddit user, aged 29, describes feeling “jobless, isolated, and addicted to porn since the age of 12”. “I have no motivation to do anything,” he admits.
The emotional toll is real. A study published in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease last year found strong links between problematic pornography use and anxiety and depression.
And these aren’t just marginal cases. Graham Cowley, who works with unemployed young men in Blackpool, told reporters recently: “There are kids on the internet 24 hours a day. They don’t want to work for anything less than 40 grand.”
Some see the shift beginning in childhood. With smartphones in nearly every pocket by the age of 12, boys are growing up immersed in a digital landscape filled with instant gratification—and influencers like Andrew Tate, whose messages glorify hyper-masculine rebellion and disdain for traditional employment.
Meanwhile, the education system, with its emphasis on conformity, structure, and academic targets, is struggling to compete.
Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt argues that while social media captured girls in the late 2000s, boys were already disappearing into gaming and online escapism. As he puts it: “The virtual world becomes more enticing. The real world—especially school—becomes more frustrating.”
Not everyone agrees that porn and gaming are the root causes.
Lord Elliott, founder of the Jobs Foundation, says it’s too simplistic to blame digital habits. “Rewind several decades, and you had more opportunities for solid, rewarding jobs. Buying a home was realistic. That’s no longer true for many young men.”
He argues that online addiction may be a symptom rather than the cause. “The root cause of worklessness is a wider malaise that has grown over the past few decades,” he says.
Maxwell Marlow, director of public affairs at the Adam Smith Institute, takes a similar view: “People are on video games at home because they can’t find any work. That’s what people do when they’re unemployed.”
And while many reject the idea of government intervention into people’s private habits, others point to mounting evidence of compulsive behaviour. A Cambridge University study found that porn stimulates the brains of compulsive users in the same way cocaine activates a drug addict’s neural circuitry.
For those affected, the way out is rarely easy. But some recognise the path.
“I remember my therapist asked if I have a job,” one Reddit user writes. “I said no. He told me a job would fix almost everything messed up in my life. It would force me to wake up, leave the house, make friends, maybe even find a relationship.”
The digital world is not going away. But the deeper question may not be whether young men are addicted to gaming or porn—but why so many find these escapes more appealing than the alternatives.
Unless those real-world alternatives—education, work, relationships—feel meaningful and attainable, the pull of the screen will only grow stronger.
And for a generation already slipping through the cracks, that may be the hardest challenge of all.
